Category Archives: Satire and Humor

Wine “Tasting” is Just so Much Bullshit…

May 23, 2013

REALLY? YOU DON”T SAY?Read the funny article here: http://io9.com/wine-tasting-is-bullshit-heres-why-496098276

One of Those…”Oh Shit” Moments…

May 23, 2013

From: http://elmtreeforge.blogspot.com/

Yep…Pretty Much Descibes Where I’m At…

May 23, 2013

Found at: http://elmtreeforge.blogspot.com/

Matt Foley – Living in a Van…Down By The River

May 22, 2013

From You TUbe

Playtime Over…In Australia

May 20, 2013

Found at It Ain’t Holy Water: http://itaintholywater.blogspot.com/

My To-Do List For Most Days…

May 17, 2013

Arabic For Beginners (Laugh your Ass Off)

May 16, 2013

Found at The Mad Jewess

Need Money? Call O’Sucka and Ask Him.

May 16, 2013

Ya Gotta Love Grandpas…. (From the email inbox)

John G. is 63 years old and owns a small business. He’s a life-long republican and sees his dream of retiring next year has all but evaporated. With the stock market crashing and new taxes coming his way, John assumes now that he will work to his dying day.

John has a granddaughter. Ashley is a recent college grad. She drives a flashy hybrid car, wears all the latest fashions, and loves to go out to nightclubs and restaurants. Ashley campaigned hard for Barack Obama. After the election she made sure her grandfather (and all other republican family members) received a big I told-you-so earful on how the world is going to be a much better place now that her party is taking over.

Having recently lost both roommates, Ashley ran short of cash, and cannot pay the rent (again) on her 3-bedroom townhouse. Like she has done many times in the past, she e-mailed her grandfather asking for some financial help.

Here is his reply:

Sweetheart, I received your request for assistance. Ashley, you know I love you dearly and I’m sympathetic to your financial plight. Unfortunately, times have changed. With the election of President Obama, your grandmother and I have had to set forth

a bold new economic plan of our own…”The Ashley Economic Empowerment Plan.” Let me explain.

Your grandmother and I are life-long, wage-earning tax payers. We have lived a comfortable life, as you know, but we have never had the fancier things like European vacations, luxury cars, etc. We have worked hard and were looking forward to retiring soon.

But the plan has changed. Your president is raising our personal and business taxes significantly. He says it is so he can give our hard-earned money to other people. Do you know what this means, Ashley? It means less for us, so we must cut back on many

business and personal expenses.

You know the wonderful receptionist who worked in my office for more than 23 years? The one who always gave you candy when you came over to visit? I had to let her go last week. I can’t afford to pay her salary and all of the government mandated taxes that go with having employees. Your grandmother will now work 4 days a week to answer phones, take orders and handle

the books. We will be closed on Fridays and will lose even more income.

I’m also very sorry to report that your cousin Frank will no longer be working summers in the warehouse. I called him at school this morning. He already knows about it and he’s upset because he will have to give up skydiving and his yearly trip to Greenland to survey the polar bears.

That’s just the business side of things. Some personal economic effects of Obama’s new taxation policies include none other than you. You know very well that over the years your grandmother and I have given you thousands of dollars in cash, tuition assistance, food, housing, clothing, gifts, etc., etc. With your vote, you have chosen to help others — but not at your expense –

it is unfortunately at our expense. If you need money now sweetheart, I recommend you call 202-456-1111. That is the direct phone number for the White House. You can also contact the White House here: http://www.whitehouse.gov/CONTACT/

You yourself told me how foolish it is to vote republican. You said Mr. Obama is going to be the people’s president, and is going to help every American live a better life. Based on everything you’ve told me, along with all the promises we heard during the campaign, I’m sure Mr. Obama will be happy to transfer some stimulus money into your bank account. Have him call me for

the account number which I memorized years ago.

Perhaps you can now understand what I’ve been saying all my life…those who vote for a president should consider the impact on the nation as a whole, and not be just concerned with what they can get for themselves. What Obama supporters don’t seem to realize is all of the money he is redistributing to illegal aliens and non-taxpaying Americans (the so-called “less fortunate”)

comes from tax-paying families.

Remember how you told me, “only the richest of the rich will be affected”? Well guess what, honey? Because we own a business, your grandmother and I are now considered to be the richest of the rich. On paper, it might look that way, but in the real world,

we are far from it. As you said while campaigning for Obama, some people will have to carry more of the burden so all of America can prosper. You understand what that means, right? It means that raising taxes on productive people results in them having less

money, less money for everything, and sadly that includes granddaughters.

I’m sorry, Ashley, but the well has run dry. The free lunches are over. We have no money to give you now. So, congratulations on your choice for “change.” For future reference, I encourage you to try and add up the total value of the gifts and cash you have

received from us, just since you went off to college, and compare it to what you expect to get from Mr. Obama over the next 4 (or 8) years. I have not kept track of it, Ashley, because it has all truly been the gift of our hearts, but the comparison might be interesting.

Remember, we love you dearly…but from now on you’ll need to call the number mentioned above. Your “savior” has the money we would have given to you. Just try to get it from him.

Good luck, sweetheart.
Love, Grandpa

Found this over at The Feral Irishman:http://theferalirishman.blogspot.com/

The Answer is…

May 15, 2013

Found at HAB: http://www.hookersandbooze.com/

Bob Knows What to Say

May 15, 2013

cool-Bob-Ross-birds-painting

Edgar…Weak and Weary I was.

May 15, 2013

funny-Edgar-Allan-Yoda-Poe

Wait…Let Me think On It…

May 15, 2013

funny-gif-good-point-thinking-lie

Today’s Gender Issues…What Are You?

May 9, 2013

funny-computer-options-gender

The Pillage People

May 8, 2013

Cool Man!

May 7, 2013

Found at The Irishman: http://theferalirishman.blogspot.com/

Just Kidding!

May 6, 2013

From Mad Medic: http://maddmedic.wordpress.com/

Hey Dumbass Jay Z – The Man On Your Tee Shirt is Talking About You!

May 4, 2013

From Mad Medic:

The Glock Nightime Prayer

May 3, 2013

From Wirecutter: http://ogdaa.blogspot.com/

Ban Chipotle? You Must Be The Devil Himself. (Close…Just another Looney Leftist)

May 2, 2013

Found at Mad Medic

Arabic: It’s Not That Hard to Read. Really.

May 1, 2013

Found at Theo Spark: http://www.theospark.net/

The Late, Great, Sam Kinison – How to Solve World Hunger

April 12, 2013

Found at You Tube

Suck Off…Obama

April 12, 2013

Found at Mad Medic:

My Kind of Watch…

April 11, 2013

From The Feral Irishman:http://theferalirishman.blogspot.com/

Finally…A Proper Wine Glass

April 11, 2013

Found at It Ain’t Holy Water: http://itaintholywater.blogspot.com/

Dogs Playing Dueling Banjos

April 10, 2013

Found at Theo

George Carlin – Who Really Controls America…The Big Club

April 9, 2013

From American Digest

That’s Funny Right There…

April 9, 2013

Gotta love Craigslist

http://chicago.craigslist.org/nwi/boa/3710890433.html

ok this right here is a prime honey hauler. lemme break it down for you. in one month it will be boat season. until then all you have to do is wax it. float up to the beach in this bad bitch and the hoes will flock. happens every year! give me a ride they asked, I’ll take my bikini top off they said. but it doesn’t end there. with this two stroke motor you can practically call yourself a chemist mixing the gas and oil. this wave slammer hauls ass tho. if the girls don’t take their top off that’s ok cause the wind speed will blow em off for sure. cant afford a malibu? you probably cant afford the women on one either. this is the boat for you. being built in 1972 the creators definitely had pussy magnet on the build sheet. this is a bachelors dream right here. and you won’t find a better deal, for only one easy payment of 600 bucks this chick magnet will be yours!! I hate to see it go but it’s just time to move the fortune to another lucky guy. but thats not all, there’s more! the trailer has built in guides on the side for when you are hammered drunk at the end of the day so you can still get er loaded up. shoot me a text and make your wet dreams a reality 219 510 2340 cash or trade offers welcome. oh and if you could not flag my ad, that would be great. this is real and i have titles in hand for boat and trailer. it is SOLD, but people seem to enjoy the ad and i am enjoying the texts. thanks!

Location: valparaiso
it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Posting ID: 3710890433

Posted: 2013-03-29, 10:56AM CDT

Edited: 2013-04-03, 10:40PM CDT

email to a friend

- Don

*****

I’m still laughing my ass off over this. Don, thanks for sending it in.

Posted bywirecutter: http://ogdaa.blogspot.com/