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Hollywood Glamor in All of Its Glory

February 1, 2013

Scrap of Tinseltown Trash Jason London Craps His Pants

Al Roker isn’t the only exulted member of the ruling class to suffer from incontinence. Actor Jason London ventured out of Tinseltown to bless us with his presence here in the Valley in the Sun, where he behaved the way we have come to expect of the infantile elitists infesting the entertainment industry.

The 40-year-old was cited for assault and disorderly conduct. The actor allegedly sneezed on and punched a patron at Martini Ranch on Stetson Drive [in Scottsdale, Arizona].

From the police report:

I then spoke with London and attempted to ask him what had taken place that evening, but he refused to cooperate with me. I asked him if he wanted to tell me what happened and he said, “F*** you! You won’t do s*** for me; you f***ing hillbilly!” I explained to him that I was trying to get his side of the story and that I had no idea of what occurred. He continued his ranting about the medical treatment that I had given him and that I did not help him. I explained to him that I was not a medic and that I was a police officer. He said, “I know what you f***ing are! F*** you; I want to go home!” I did not ask any further questions of London. London showed obvious signs and symptoms of extreme alcohol impairment. His eyes were bloodshot and watery, his speech was slurred and mumbled, and his breath reeked of alcohol. London was also having a very hard time keeping his balance, even while in the seated position.

More Hollywood charm from the police report:

During the short trip to District 2 Jail; London asked me if I had a good lawyer and if I was proud to be a cop. I did not reply to his questions. He then said, “Guess what, faggot? I f***ing love this! I f***ing own you guys so hard. I’m rich and I’m a motherf***ing famous actor! F***ing look me up, bitch!” He then said, “It smells like s*** in your car and your breath smells like diarrhea”. I looked back at him just in time for him to lean to the left and defecate in his pants. Then he said, “I told you that I’m happy as s***!” Once at the Jail facility, London continued with his antics toward Jail staff and continued his ranting, raving, and cursing at them and me. At 0040hrs I read London Miranda warnings verbatim from the supplied Miranda card. London did not initially reply. He flipped me off with both hands and stuck his tongue out at me. I told him that I needed an actual answer to the question and he gave me thumbs up. I asked him one final time if he understood his rights and he said, “I’m a f***ing movie star; I know what the f*** to do!” I then said, “Would you like to talk about what happened tonight?” and he flipped me off again and said, “F*** you; I own you now! I’m a famous actor, I’m f***ing rich, and I’ve got a good f***ing lawyer! I f***ing own your sorry ass! F*** you!”

You can see why the whole country admires the Beautiful People who grace the silver screen.

jason-london-mug-shot
The glamorous Jason London’s mugshot.

On a tip from Varla.

 By  at Moonbattery: http://moonbattery.com/
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